{Edited from an original post to the Class of 2021.}
Dear Class of 2023,
Every May, without fail, I sit in a peaceful, Sunday morning church service and I experience the senior video playing across the screen. In the past, my daughter Megan would look at me with a smirk… She knew.
In the past, it never mattered that I had no senior yet. The music, the images, the kids that had grown into adult bodies…Every single time – I am a mess – E.V.E.R.Y. time. This year, my Megan was a senior. For us, our tears were different because our world and her world looked nothing like we would have imagined… But I remember the first time I had a senior graduate I spilled over tears upon tears – happy tears, sad tears, thankful tears, all the tears! It didn’t matter if it was the church video or something totally unexpected and silly that would trigger the waterfall – but so. many. unexpected. tears. This ending and new beginning for a parent is a culmination of so many things and a stopping of how it has always been ~ and a starting of something that hasn’t ever been….yet….
To the Class of 2023, I am proud of you.
Looking back through your senior pictures, I see so much more than beautiful, fun, kind, athletic, talented, charming young people.
I see hope and possibility.
I see resilience and fight.
I see flexibility and perseverance.
I see creativity and finding new ways to do old things.
(I might also see Tik Tok dances repeating in my head.)
You started off high school in the most unexpected way. It was anything but ordinary. When you started kindergarten and your moms and dads were teary-eyed, newer to parenting and full of hope and expectation, they likely didn’t anticipate that you would step into high school in a sea of extraordinary circumstances – all tainted with the uncertainty and pain of Covid and the brokenness of our world.
But one thing you learn as you get older is that things change – and things don’t always go as expected – and more often than not, things don’t go as we would expect. And ordinary becomes a bit overrated and under-experienced. You made it through that crazy period of this world and came out to a new normal world and way of doing school. And that is a lot like life….facing something unknown and maybe even intimidating and adapting and learning to confidently just walk through it – sometimes trudge through it…
Academics can only teach so much… But if you can learn how to have joy, hope, and peace in a world separate from your circumstances, amidst an environment that can cause anxiety and unrest;
If you can learn to advocate for empathy and champion compassion;
If you can learn how to disagree kindly with someone else;
Then I believe you have learned a lesson more valuable than academics could teach.
If your parents are like me, my guess is that they are in the “my child just graduated and is an adult now” recovery phase. (Pray for us people!) We just passed through the valley of every possible emotion on earth possible! We watched the last eighteen years of your sweet lives flash through our minds – the good, the bad, the firsts and lasts, the unknown and the terrifying. It went so quickly and yet so slowly – all at the same time. You know whatever emotion you are feeling as a daughter or a son, likely your parent is riding that same emotional roller coaster with you. Parenting is exhilarating and exhausting, exciting and excruciating – and completely exceptional.
You probably have received a ton of advice. Here are just a few things I would love to add to your collection:
- Don’t take things too seriously. (Really!!!)
- Comparison truly is the enemy of joy. Be content with the beauty and the gifts God has given you. There is only one YOU! (Psalm 139:14)
- Choose kindness, love, empathy and compassion. Those choices are never wrong.
- No one is perfect – not even you. You actually cannot be. There is freedom in that! Failure and mistakes are opportunities for growth. Embrace them as part of the growing process.
- Don’t let your circumstances dictate your outlook. Let truth be your anchor. (Hebrews 6:13-20)
- Social Media cannot handle all of your opinions so be wise and careful with what you choose to share. Also social media affects our perception of reality – and it is not necessarily reality. Hold it loosely. Look to God’s Word for truth and freedom – not Snapchat, Instagram, or Twitter. Fill your mind with His truth more than other’s opinions.
- Don’t let your phone or any technology master you. Set boundaries.
- Live thankfully and use words to share how grateful you are.
- Enjoy the journey – there will be ups and there will be downs… but God’s goodness, mercy and grace are always the same – no matter the highs and lows. Knowing He is still good always leaves us with hope – and His eternal hope never disappoints! (Romans 5:5)
As parents, we will continue to pray for you, cheer for you, weep with you and celebrate with you. We will worry about you when you are here and we will worry about you when you are gone. We will lose our breath wondering about all the things we messed up in our parenting and all the things we should have done better. We will try to understand that you are adults now and accept that our relationship will change. And I am sure we will have moments we fail miserably!
We will remember you are pretty special… and that you were God’s first and we can trust Him with you.
As you go on to school far away or close ~ whether you decide to work, choose a gap-year framework or learn a trade…. know how much you are loved and how proud we all are of you.
(And if you see a senior mom anytime soon, give them some grace and love. ;))
Much love and many prayers –
